Infuriation
by Aoi-Kitsune
Summary: [ONESHOT] There was one exception, as one king wasn't in the least happy. Why, you ask, is he being down on such a happy occasion? Well, let's just see, shall we?


**Disclaimer:** Odin Sphere belongs to their respective owners.

**A.N:** Most of the rambling in here was from Suikoden V's Egbert's list of quotes.

**Warning: **One of the characters is OOC, just for the fun of the fanfiction.

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In the magical land of Erion, where Ragnanival, the realm of the Demon Lord, after being long embroiled in a massive and destructive war with the forested realm of Ringford, home of Queen Elfaria and her fairy subjects, finally came to a halt. Erion had a period of peace shortly thereafter. Unbeknownst of the advancing prophecies of the Armageddon, the villagers and the rulers of the countries were joyous and there was much cheer and merry-making, like a pagan celebration to herald an end to a tumultuous epoch.

However, there was one exception, as one king wasn't in the least happy. As you can see... huh? What? What do you mean he's happy? Are you looking at the right part of the map? … Ah, you're looking at King Valentine. Who knows what that old bag of rotten bones is happy about, it's probably something about world domination and the sort. The king I meant was... what? You don't know who I'm talking about? Of course you don't. I haven't even mentioned his name yet. ... Now, as I was saying... not again. Alright! I'll show you this pathetic excuse of a king.

Get your Erion map, and look for Titania. If you don't know what I'm saying, you're probably best off not listening to me. Have you found Titania yet? That rather Arthurian-ish looking country whose king is a blind cowardly man? No? Yes? Good. Now, look a wee bit below Titania, what do you see? ... You will, of course, see a volcano. A volcano, with lava flowing out like rivulets of water. If I'm not mistaken it's called the Volkenon Lava Pit or was it Volkner..? Anyways, our unhappy and currently depressed king is none other than the great Inferno King, Onyx. Why, you ask, is he being down on such a happy occasion? Well, let's just see, shall we?

"GETARAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! That FILTHY HOOLIGAN! HOW DARE HE-"

Onyx seems to be in one of his tantrum fits.

"HE is a mere INSECT! A LIZARD! A SLIMY OOZE! DIVINE JUSTICE shall be BROUGHT DOWN UPON THAT HORRENDOUS ROGUE!"

"THAT- THAT- THAT- GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

As you can see, Onyx isn't a very patient man by nature and obviously needs some psychotherapy right at the moment. When Onyx wanted something, he means it and wants it immediately. And nothing is going to get in his way. This is pretty much old news now, since everyone in Erion knows about his selfish whims. However, it was, something different now since his current obsession was none other than...

... Are you joking? Did I just heard you say Velvet? Velvet, the Forest Witch? Yes, I know that Velvet is the epitome of feminine sexuality and elegance, but you do know that Prince Cornelius from Titania is going to kick your puny ass to kingdom come if he heard you? What? He may be small but that doesn't mean he- Ahem, terribly sorry, I was getting a bit sidetracked there. Where was I? Oh yes, King Onyx's current obsession was and still is the Princess Gwendolyn, otherwise known as Odin's Witch, from Ragnanival.

Ever since Onyx had laid eyes on her during one of Odin's entourages to his country, he had been spellbound by her beauty and charm. And when Onyx had heard about Gwendolyn cast under a spell that would make her fall in love with whosoever who woke her, he had painstakingly bribed one of them Titanian snot-faced wizards, Skuldi from the Three Wise Men, to effectively kidnap her without harm and bring her to his country. When the skinny wizard did bring her to him, he felt like he could sing to the whole nation of Erion. … Well, not really, logically speaking…

However, it went downhill from there. First, that hulking boisterous King Odin came smashing his way into his court, damaging the interior walls immensely, demanding the return of his daughter. From whom did Odin hear that from is still beyond him. Then, Odin told him that the spell he cast on his daughter would not cause her to love him, for it only made her sleep. Such news, greatly, tremendously, upset Onyx and left him many nights without sleep. However, Onyx eventually came to terms with that and decided to keep her asleep in his country.

Onyx thought the problematic neighboring kings wouldn't come and disturb him now, but it didn't turn out that way. Like all imprisoned princesses in fairy tales, surely there must be a knight of sorts that saves them from certain peril, yes? Well, this particular knight who came to rescue the sleeping fair maiden…

"ARRRRRRRRGH!!!! That FILTHY THIEF should return to the PESTILENT DUNGHEAP from WHENCE HE SPRANG!!!"

… very much pissed Onyx off. Why did he greatly anger Onyx?

"Worthless maggot! You don't deserve sunlight, or air! You deserve to be buried in garbage! You deserve to DIE choking on rotten feces at the bottom of the world's filthiest, darkest cesspit!!!"

According to several eye-witnesses, a fire-breathing lizard and a Vulcan here in the Fire Kingdom, the said knight barged into the volcano, took out the Vulcans and made his way to the inner hall. You see, Onyx isn't a very tolerant person and his least favourite people are uninvited guests. His hall was already badly damaged and wrecked by that pompous King Odin. The last thing he wanted was another fool strolling in his kingdom acting like he owned it.

When he met that fool, that Netherworld stench-ridden knight had the bravery to actually request him, the Inferno King, to return Gwendolyn to him. The fool had no fear of death apparently. He felt he could almost explode then and smash the idiot's face into a nearby wall. He decided the only way to get rid of this human pest was to show his true form and defeat that dastardly knight, a fight which he had lost, quite pathetically. He mentally kicked himself, for losing to a scrawny knight who was one head shorter than him! He almost felt like bashing his skull onto the floor in his castle to remind himself of his stupidity.

Not only that, the fool actually thought a vow to fight for him would heal his broken heart, and not to mention pride, and the gall to laugh at his innermost feelings. He never felt so insulted in his whole life. Now, he spent his hours away in his chambers, cursing the name of that said knight…

"GRAAAAAAAAAH!!! My own two HANDS shall squeeze his neck! I'll STAB him in the forehead with my FINGERNAIL!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'LL GET HIM ONE DAY!!!!"

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I'll STOMP him! And CRUSH him! And CRUSH him! And STOMP him! And then CRUSH him again! Until NO EARTHLY TRACE REMAINS! ... HAHAHAHAHAAAA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!"

"I'LL DRENCH him in BOILING oil and CREMATE HIM ALIVE!!! I'LL DROWN HIM LIKE THE SMELLY RAT HE IS!!! HAHAHAHAHAA!!!"

"I'LL BASH HIS EXECRABLEMALEFICENT RANCOROUSDAMNABLEFACE! DEVIL! PERFIDIOUSMISERABLEODIOUSWRESTCH!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'LL GET YOU OSWALD!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

... I think it's time we went away, yes?

"THAT'S A PROMISE YOU FILTHY DEVIL!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

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**A.N:** Criticism is much encouraged but no flames please.


End file.
